A divorce is hard for a number of reasons, and depending on your situation, you may wish you could give up everything and walk away. The reality is that you should not do that, because it impacts your finances in the future. Whether you’re guilty, frustrated, angry or sad, it’s best to stay focused on your financial future moving forward.
To stay focused, you need to maintain a business-like mind. Here are a few tips to help you overcome your emotions during this difficult time.
1. Always wait before responding
This isn’t the typical “Wait 10 seconds to calm down,” advice. Instead, give yourself a day, 24 hours at least, before you respond to any negotiations. It’s a good idea to read them over and to take time to process them before you respond.
Initially, a negotiating point might be offensive or surprising, but you need to take time to think it through. Is it a fair offer? Should you ask for more? How can you counter the offer? These are all questions to ask yourself before you respond.
2. Don’t rely on the other person’s guilt
You might think that you can play on the other person’s emotions, but that’s not always true. Instead of hoping for the best, sit down and think about how you can get what you want in a fair way. People who are willing to be fair with one another are more likely to resolve their divorce settlements quickly.
3. Take time off from the divorce
It is important for you to take time off from the stress of the divorce, too. When you want to rush to get things over with, you’re more likely to make poor decisions. If you work on divorce documents all week, give yourself the weekend to focus on the things and people you love. It will bring you back to a more balanced outlook and help you as you move forward.
4. Be professional
The final way that you can help yourself treat this as a business arrangement is simply to retain an air of professionalism. Treat the other party as if they’re clients or a negotiating partner, not someone who slighted you. By changing your perspective, you’ll shift to looking at the numbers instead of looking at the faults the other person should pay for.
Focus on what you can have and what you can negotiate for you. At the negotiating table, that’s all that matters.