Roanoke Legal Blog

Most people now recognize the importance for children to maintain a strong relationship with their dads after a divorce. Joint custody is more common than ever, and it is now easier for dads to secure the parenting time necessary to have a prominent role in the lives of their children. Not that long ago, however, courts most often gave preference to the mothers, and it was very difficult for dads to share custody of a child.

Divorce has changed in many ways over the previous decades, which is a positive step for fathers. Most Virginia fathers want to be active parents after a divorce, and joint custody allows parents to share both physical custody and legal custody. Physical custody refers to the amount of time a parent will have with his or her kids, and legal custody refers to the right that a parent has to make important decisions for his or her child. This includes decisions related to religious upbringing, medical care, education and more.

Despite your best effort to maintain a happy and healthy marriage, there may come a point when you realize it's in trouble. This doesn't necessarily mean divorce is imminent, but it never hurts to come to grips with the fact that it's possible.

Here are five signs that divorce could be coming:

• You argue about everything: It's natural to have arguments as a married couple, but if every disagreement turns into a serious fight you may have a problem on your hands. Take a step back in an attempt to pinpoint why you're arguing so much.
• Money has become a major problem: Financial issues are a top cause of divorce, so you should keep your eyes on any issues related to this. Is your spouse upset with you about how you're spending your money? Do they have concerns about your career path? Do you regularly argue about your budget?
• You don't talk any more: Sure, you may converse when it's convenient, but you never find yourself having meaningful conversations the way you did in the past. An open line of communication is critical to any healthy marriage, so if you stop talking it could signal a bigger problem.
• You look for reasons to avoid your spouse: For instance, you stay at work late because you know it means less time at home with your spouse. Or you hang out with friends on the weekend in an attempt to get away. It's okay for married couples to spend time apart. In fact, it's a good idea. But this can go too far.
• Your spouse is acting strange: There could be many reasons for this, ranging from infidelity to financial problems they're attempting to sweep under the rug. If you notice this, it's important to bring it to light.

When the courts finally issued a divorce decree and parenting plan for your family, you likely felt a profound sense of relief. Even if you weren't thrilled with the specific terms set in the documents, you were likely glad to put the contention of the divorce behind you and focus on establishing a new routine for your family.

For the vast majority of divorced families in Virginia, the parents will share custody of the kids. The courts or the parents themselves create a specific parenting plan addressing all kinds of issues. Still, the specific terms explained in your parenting plan and custody order will not necessarily work for your family indefinitely.

Television shows and movies would have viewers believe that the holidays are a magical time full of family happiness and hope for the future. But the reality is that the decorating, cooking and traveling that occur during the holiday period can create a great deal of stress on families in Virginia and across the country. In fact, some studies indicate that the number of divorce filings increase in January.

One attorney specifically claims that the first two weeks after the holiday season comes to an end is one of the busiest times of the year for those who practice family law in terms of divorce filings and new clients. Internet searches tend to support this claim, with an increase in divorce-related searches happening in the first few weeks of January. The claim is further supported by a university study that demonstrates an increase in filings in January when compared to December; this increase was observed in several states.