Many people who are married have children, and parents who are dissatisfied with their marriage may use their children’s needs as a reason to stay in the marriage. They may worry that their children will be negatively affected by a divorce, and they would not want to put their children through such an ordeal. Therefore, they may decide to stay in an unhappy marriage.
However, often unhappy marriages lead to toxic conflict and constant fighting between spouses. This can create a lot of tension in the household, and can also have a negative effect on your children. Therefore, avoiding divorce is not always the best outcome for your children. The following are some things that you should think about before divorcing when you have children.
How much conflict do your children experience at home?
Consider how the current home environment is impacting your children. Think about whether they are witnessing conflicts between you and their other parent on a daily or weekly basis, and how intense they are. If your children are experiencing regular hostility, getting a divorce may actually benefit their childhood in the long term.
Would they need to move home or schools?
It’s worth considering what would likely happen in the event of a divorce. For example, question whether it’s likely that you or your spouse would move states. In this case, it may mean that your children will need to change homes or schools, which can be particularly disruptive at an especially volatile time.
Would you be able to collaborate with your ex?
If you think that you would be able to collaborate with your ex well after a divorce, your children will likely be able to overcome the struggles of a divorce and have happy childhoods. However, if you know that you would find it difficult to work together well as parents if you were no longer married, consider this and the impact that it will likely have on your children.
If you are struggling in your marriage but you don’t want your kids to suffer by witnessing the unfolding of their parents’ marriage, it’s important that you think carefully before filing for a divorce.