People who get married young expect to enjoy a long marriage for the rest of their lives. But it does not always work out that way. Among American women who have ever been married, 7.1. percent got divorced in their early to mid-20s, and 13.4 percent were divorced by the time they turned 29.
Though getting divorced young is not uncommon in Roanoke or anywhere else in the U.S., those going through it often feel embarrassment or shame that older divorcing people don’t tend to experience in 2022. Though the taboo against divorce went away decades ago in this country, for young adults, getting divorced can feel like a failure. Some young divorcés say they sense people judging them as “lazy” because they supposedly did not “work” hard enough to salvage their marriage.
In some communities, this stigma might be very real. Whether friends and family are criticizing you for ending an unliveable marriage or not, here are three tips for coping with your feelings after getting divorced in your 20s or 30s.
You are more than a divorced person
Take time to remind yourself that your divorce was a legal action, not a personality trait. You are not your divorce, and people who can’t see that may not deserve your time or attention.
Write an explanation narrative
You don’t owe anybody the details of what happened in your marriage that led to your divorce. But if you like, you can draft a short sentence or two to recite whenever someone asks that says as much about it as you feel comfortable sharing.
Joining a support group for divorced people can help you relieve any guilt you are feeling. You are not the only person to get divorced after a short marriage. A group can give you a place to vent your feelings and learn from others’ experiences. One-on-one therapy with a professional therapist can also be helpful.
If you can’t stop blaming yourself for your marriage ending, consider what you would say to a friend going through what you are right now. Would you agree that they are a failure and should feel bad about themselves? Or would you try to comfort your friend? Give yourself a break.
It is also crucial to hire the right divorce lawyer for you. Not every family law attorney is a good fit for every potential client. Find someone you can work with and trust to help you get through the process as quickly and smoothly as possible.